I really has been a long time. The last time I wrote, our 3rd child, Jack had been diagnosed with autism. He was doing well in 4th grade at school. In the last 3+ years things have gone very awry. His 5th grade year was a struggle, and then we moved again due to "needs of the service" - hubby's job and all. And we landed in Cape Cod. Late July 2017.
Once in Cape Cod ... awry doesn't even begin to describe the trajectory of things. To say Jack was floundering at school would be an understatement. Middle school a.k.a Jr. High is the armpit of childhood. The worst years. And shortly after school started in late August - Jack began getting suspended. Almost weekly. In late October, I decided to bring him back home and try homeschooling again. After a honeymoon phase of just a few weeks thing deteriorated at home too. We enrolled Jack in therapy - and after a while, the therapist suggested putting him back at school to give myself a break. Things at home had begun to disintegrate due to his now escalating behavior. He returned to school after spring break - and within a week was doing so poorly he was hospitalized for the very first time.
That, my friends is a low point no parent is every prepared for. Having the call emergency because your child is a danger to self and/or others. Having the authorities come and take your child to hospital. Between being in the pediatric ward at hospital, and being transferred to an in-patient, adolescent treatment facility - Jack was away for nearly 2 weeks. He was put on medications. When we brought him home - he was glad to tell us he never wanted to go back the the treatment program again. We were all very hopeful. But things did not stay stable with him. In late August he attempted suicide. Thankfully he was unsuccessful. We found him, and there was another hospital stay. This time only 36 hours in the regular hospital before he was transferred back the the adolescent inpatient, behavioral health treatment facility. The stay there this time was about 5 days. School started in September 2016, and things were not quite as stable as we would have liked, and Jack attended a partial-hospitalization day program. 8am to 3pm about 45 minutes away, for 2 weeks.
Upon return to school in late September (2016). Again, it became clear that Jack was not being successful at school. Even though we had met with the school team at the closing of the last school year and made an IEP for Jack. Even though special stop gaps, and services were in place for him. It becoming very apparent that regular, gov't school was not the place for Jack. Around Thanksgiving Jack was placed in a therapeutic day school for children with behavior and mental health issues. There was a trial 45 day period. After that period, in February 2017 we met with the education team again. It was decided that Jack should not go back to a the regular school - but should stay at the therapeutic day school for the remainder of the year. We will meet again in mid-May to discuss where Jack will attend for the 2017-2018 school year. His 8th grade year.
In all this time, Jack failed out of three different therapists. How can you "fail" out of therapy? Well, when you see the therapist regularly for 6 months or more and there isn't any progress - you move on. And after three different therapists - we just decided to give Jack, us, and our wallets a break. And honestly, he attends a therapeutic day school. Which is effectively an institutional-esque setting. He has also been seeing a psychiatrist, who manages his medications. Not only does he have the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis, but also ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), and ADHD. He is on two different meds to help manage things. And he is fairly stable at the moment. And has been for a few months. I credit that largely with the school he is at. Weekends, and school vacations are still the hardest times for him. With 4 children still at home, going all different ways for sports, and activities - I do not have it within me to run my home like a therapeutic/institutional school. Which is what he really needs to thrive.
I am going to end this post here. It has been all about Jack. And trust me when I say that my life has become all about Jack over the last 3 years. Everything in our home seems to hinge on him and how he is behaving, or not behaving. It is emotionally draining and exhausting. I feel like a circus clown trying to stay balanced atop a unicycle - while juggling 6 balls. Trying to keep everyone else on an even keel - and on the right path. And it is ever so hard to be the rock and touch point for everyone in the family. And no one notices that the rock is cracked and starting to crumble.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Not only bookends - but a book on the shelf too.
Much going on in the Ambriz circus. *cue calliope music*
As the title of my blog infers, our oldest and youngest children have autism. They are our "bookends" so to speak. The first and last of our progeny - unless the good LORD decides to bless us with more. And as I am 41, an hubby is 43 - that window is inching closer and closer to closing. But that is another story.
Our middle child, Jack, age 12, has long struggled academically. Well, if I am honest he has struggle with many things. We suspected learning disabilities. Dyslexia and auditory processing disorders were my best guesses. Others had suggest ADHD. Up until this year I had homeschooled him with the other 3 children.Our oldest child - whose autism was always on the more severe side has attended a special education program from the time she turned 3. Back to Jack. Schooling him at home had become very difficult and disruptive to the learning of the other 3 children. So as the 2013-2014 school year loomed over our heads - hubby and I prayerfully decided to enroll Jack in gov't school. It has proved to be good for him. He has a wonderful teacher who jut adores him, and knows how to meet him where he is.
Earlier in the fall we were able to take Jack to see a neuro-pychologist to have in depth testing done to get to the bottom of his academic struggles. The neuro-psych did close to 6 hours of testing over a series of several days. Jack was also evaluated by a speech and language pathologist, an audiologist, and an occupational therapist. Last month hubby and I went in and met with the neuro-psych to go over the results. I went in hopeful. Expecting to find out which learning disability(ies) were plaguing him and how to help him overcome them. Or that he had ADHD and a magic pill would help. Instead we were gut punched...Autism.
Autism.
Another one? Another autistic child? Thank makes 3 out of 5.
Noooooo.
Certainly she must be mistaken. No learning disabilities? No ADHD? No pill that can help?
***I do not advocate medicating children. In fact - for years when others had suggested medication might help out son, we had shrugged it off. No way. We are not plying our children with drugs to make him easier for us to handle. After struggling for years (and years) - we had come to realize maybe he needed something, as it was getting clearer everyday he could not control his behavior. Not that he did not want to....but that he could not.***
Autism.
He is going to struggle for the rest of his life. Always. I do not want that for my precious boy. I do not want to go down this road. Again.
But we will. Hubby and I will take his hands in ours and we will walk this path together. We will not give up on him. And he will be the best he can be. We will fight for him. We will fight with him - against this enemy that we can now name. Even though the beast is different from the one we thought we were fighting. You see - we heard hoof beats and were looking for a horse....we didn't realize the sound was coming from the zebra in the room.
I have heard that God only sends his strongest and best warriors into battle. And as we gear up for our 3rd deployment against this monster - we realize we are not alone. We have been tasked with this for a reason. His purpose. And we may never know it. But we must trust our Creator and Savior - that He knows better than us. And He never gives us 2nd best.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. There are no mistakes. So even Jack was made as he was intended to be. He too will touch the world for our Master's sake and change it in ways we may never know.
As the title of my blog infers, our oldest and youngest children have autism. They are our "bookends" so to speak. The first and last of our progeny - unless the good LORD decides to bless us with more. And as I am 41, an hubby is 43 - that window is inching closer and closer to closing. But that is another story.
Our middle child, Jack, age 12, has long struggled academically. Well, if I am honest he has struggle with many things. We suspected learning disabilities. Dyslexia and auditory processing disorders were my best guesses. Others had suggest ADHD. Up until this year I had homeschooled him with the other 3 children.Our oldest child - whose autism was always on the more severe side has attended a special education program from the time she turned 3. Back to Jack. Schooling him at home had become very difficult and disruptive to the learning of the other 3 children. So as the 2013-2014 school year loomed over our heads - hubby and I prayerfully decided to enroll Jack in gov't school. It has proved to be good for him. He has a wonderful teacher who jut adores him, and knows how to meet him where he is.
Earlier in the fall we were able to take Jack to see a neuro-pychologist to have in depth testing done to get to the bottom of his academic struggles. The neuro-psych did close to 6 hours of testing over a series of several days. Jack was also evaluated by a speech and language pathologist, an audiologist, and an occupational therapist. Last month hubby and I went in and met with the neuro-psych to go over the results. I went in hopeful. Expecting to find out which learning disability(ies) were plaguing him and how to help him overcome them. Or that he had ADHD and a magic pill would help. Instead we were gut punched...Autism.
Autism.
Another one? Another autistic child? Thank makes 3 out of 5.
Noooooo.
Certainly she must be mistaken. No learning disabilities? No ADHD? No pill that can help?
***I do not advocate medicating children. In fact - for years when others had suggested medication might help out son, we had shrugged it off. No way. We are not plying our children with drugs to make him easier for us to handle. After struggling for years (and years) - we had come to realize maybe he needed something, as it was getting clearer everyday he could not control his behavior. Not that he did not want to....but that he could not.***
Autism.
He is going to struggle for the rest of his life. Always. I do not want that for my precious boy. I do not want to go down this road. Again.
But we will. Hubby and I will take his hands in ours and we will walk this path together. We will not give up on him. And he will be the best he can be. We will fight for him. We will fight with him - against this enemy that we can now name. Even though the beast is different from the one we thought we were fighting. You see - we heard hoof beats and were looking for a horse....we didn't realize the sound was coming from the zebra in the room.
I have heard that God only sends his strongest and best warriors into battle. And as we gear up for our 3rd deployment against this monster - we realize we are not alone. We have been tasked with this for a reason. His purpose. And we may never know it. But we must trust our Creator and Savior - that He knows better than us. And He never gives us 2nd best.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. There are no mistakes. So even Jack was made as he was intended to be. He too will touch the world for our Master's sake and change it in ways we may never know.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Lots of good news to be had!
Hello out there! Lots going on in the Ambriz Family.
A few weeks ago we found out where we are heading, or rather where the Coast Guard is sending us. Drum roll please.....Memphis, Tennessee! We couldn't be more thrilled. Of course crime is big in the city itself - so we will be living about 45 minutes away in a much more rural setting. Good news is that we will only be a day's drive from my dad and his side of the family, and from the Creation Museum. We thought we were moving in June - but things have changed a bit. Hubby's new billet needs him there sooner - and his replacement for here should be arriving in March. So - it looks like we'll be on the road again sometime in the last half of March, or early April. I told my dad, and he is thrilled, because it means I can drive up for my grandpa's (dad's dad) 93rd birthday in May. My grandfather hasn't met any of my children in person. My grandpa has over 25 great grandchildren now...in fact, I think he may have a couple of great great grandchildren even. It is sad to think about - how so many people are limiting their families to 1 or 2 children - what a heritage they are missing out on. My grandmother (dad's mom) died when I was 5 or 6. I bet she would have really cherished the heritage she has through her 5 children, 15 grand children, 25+ great grandchildren (so far), and possibly great grandchildren now.
Today we found out that Hubby will be getting promoted to Chief on 1 February 2013. I am so proud of him! He has worked hard, and is a good leader. In fact, the other day he came home really late. Turns out he was giving one of his workers some marital advice. Here we have been married nearly 19 years (in March). We have been through a lot. I felt so much respect for him as a man when he said that a man (fairly recently married) had come to him for some advice and support. I was glad that he took the time to talk with him at length, and took him under his wing. Marriage isn't easy. I think sometimes we are lulled into the mistaken idea that it is all romance, chocolate and flowers, and lovey dovey stuff all the time. When in actuality it is a lot of hard work! Talk about blood, sweat, and tears. But here we are. Soon to be 19 years. 5 children. And hubby is on his downhill slide toward retirement from his military career. 3.5 years until he is eligible for retirement. But I think he is planning on staying at least 5 more. I need to go back to college. Even though I have a degree, I want to get some fresh skills that are marketable - should I need to work. Hubby isn't sure what he wants to do. If he retires at 20 years - he'll get a 50% pension. But he'll only be 45. So he could start a whole new career. We shall see where the good LORD takes us.
With that I will say goodbye. It is after midnight and I need to hit the hay. Until next time....
Be Blessed,
Tiffany
A few weeks ago we found out where we are heading, or rather where the Coast Guard is sending us. Drum roll please.....Memphis, Tennessee! We couldn't be more thrilled. Of course crime is big in the city itself - so we will be living about 45 minutes away in a much more rural setting. Good news is that we will only be a day's drive from my dad and his side of the family, and from the Creation Museum. We thought we were moving in June - but things have changed a bit. Hubby's new billet needs him there sooner - and his replacement for here should be arriving in March. So - it looks like we'll be on the road again sometime in the last half of March, or early April. I told my dad, and he is thrilled, because it means I can drive up for my grandpa's (dad's dad) 93rd birthday in May. My grandfather hasn't met any of my children in person. My grandpa has over 25 great grandchildren now...in fact, I think he may have a couple of great great grandchildren even. It is sad to think about - how so many people are limiting their families to 1 or 2 children - what a heritage they are missing out on. My grandmother (dad's mom) died when I was 5 or 6. I bet she would have really cherished the heritage she has through her 5 children, 15 grand children, 25+ great grandchildren (so far), and possibly great grandchildren now.
Today we found out that Hubby will be getting promoted to Chief on 1 February 2013. I am so proud of him! He has worked hard, and is a good leader. In fact, the other day he came home really late. Turns out he was giving one of his workers some marital advice. Here we have been married nearly 19 years (in March). We have been through a lot. I felt so much respect for him as a man when he said that a man (fairly recently married) had come to him for some advice and support. I was glad that he took the time to talk with him at length, and took him under his wing. Marriage isn't easy. I think sometimes we are lulled into the mistaken idea that it is all romance, chocolate and flowers, and lovey dovey stuff all the time. When in actuality it is a lot of hard work! Talk about blood, sweat, and tears. But here we are. Soon to be 19 years. 5 children. And hubby is on his downhill slide toward retirement from his military career. 3.5 years until he is eligible for retirement. But I think he is planning on staying at least 5 more. I need to go back to college. Even though I have a degree, I want to get some fresh skills that are marketable - should I need to work. Hubby isn't sure what he wants to do. If he retires at 20 years - he'll get a 50% pension. But he'll only be 45. So he could start a whole new career. We shall see where the good LORD takes us.
With that I will say goodbye. It is after midnight and I need to hit the hay. Until next time....
Be Blessed,
Tiffany
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Good bye 2012
How is it that another whole year has gone by? Time seems to be ticking faster and faster every year. We enjoyed a wonderful Hanukkah. My mom visited for nearly a month, and then took our oldest 2 daughters back with her to California for a few weeks. The girls come home in 4 days. I have missed them so very much! We haven't had more than a dusting of snow so far. And we still don't know where we are being transferred to in June. The powers that be have announced that they are making 2 chiefs on January 1st. That puts Hubby at #2 on the list. Could be February or March when we see his promotion. We have been fighting a horrible cold/flu for 3 weeks or so. I hope to update more again soon when we are all well and have more info. Until next time....
Be Blessed!
Tiffany
Be Blessed!
Tiffany
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel...
It is that time of year again. Holy-Day time! We celebrate Hanukkah as messianic followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob - YHVH. However, most of our family and friends celebrate Christmas. Well, we can not, in good faith send out cards celebrating the pagan ritual of Christmas - now that we have come to know the truth. And it yet we can't really send everyone a Hanukkah card that does not celebrate this Holy-Day either. Last year we made a "Happy holiday" card, and that just didn't sit right with us. So this year, I created a wonderful card (with the help of my hubby who manned the camera). It proclaims our faith in Yeshua without being overtly "Hanukkah-y", and stays clear of the trappings of Christmas. We used Shutterfly.com! It was so easy. They have so so many choices for cards, and photo layouts. Here is a preview of what will be coming to a mailbox near you. Hopefully I will find time to write a little "What the Ambriz Family has been up to in 2012" letter to include with it. Talk to you soon!
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1QauGrly1ZOJA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1QauGrly1ZOJA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET
Thursday, October 25, 2012
On the road again!
Hello, hello, hello. Did I ever tell you that we got the news that Hubby made the cut to be promoted to Chief this year? Well, this coming year. Sometime between January 1, 2013 and December 1, 2013 Hubby will be pinned as GMC Ambriz. He is, however, already Chief of my heart - and our home. We have also learned that we will be on the move this summer. Hubs was scheduled to be at this billet until June 2014. With him advancing - they have decided to send us on our merry way this summer. Well, truth be told - we were given the option to say whether we wanted to stay or go. We chose to go. I know you are all chomping at the bit to know where we are going. Want to know?....Well....We don't know. Yet. I will say that Hubby's list looked something like this....
Milwalke, WI
Buffalo, NY
Yorktown, VA
Atlantic City, NJ
Atlantic Beach, NC
San Diego, CA
Sault Saint Marie, MI
These are the places that didn't make it onto our list....
Charleston, SC
Oakland, CA
Norfolk, VA
Key West, FL
Kodiak, AK
Port Clinton, OH
*Port Clinton was actually a place we really wanted to go to. BUT...that particular job is a deployable, security unit. Given the state of things in the middle east, and the fact that I would wager a hefty bet there will be at least a regional war - and quite possibly a global war there in the next few years; we decided to not hedge our bets and left it off.
Of course, the Coast Guard can send us anywhere they darn well please. We are leaving it in God's hands, and want to be where He wants to send us. So, we will happily go where we are sent. It is possible that we will know before - but I am thinking we won't know until sometime between the New Year, and mid-March. I will, of course, keep you posted.
Until next time...
Be blessed!,
Tiffany
Milwalke, WI
Buffalo, NY
Yorktown, VA
Atlantic City, NJ
Atlantic Beach, NC
San Diego, CA
Sault Saint Marie, MI
These are the places that didn't make it onto our list....
Charleston, SC
Oakland, CA
Norfolk, VA
Key West, FL
Kodiak, AK
Port Clinton, OH
*Port Clinton was actually a place we really wanted to go to. BUT...that particular job is a deployable, security unit. Given the state of things in the middle east, and the fact that I would wager a hefty bet there will be at least a regional war - and quite possibly a global war there in the next few years; we decided to not hedge our bets and left it off.
Of course, the Coast Guard can send us anywhere they darn well please. We are leaving it in God's hands, and want to be where He wants to send us. So, we will happily go where we are sent. It is possible that we will know before - but I am thinking we won't know until sometime between the New Year, and mid-March. I will, of course, keep you posted.
Until next time...
Be blessed!,
Tiffany
Monday, October 15, 2012
It is a fairy tale after all...
Once upon a time, a wonderful man and his bride were expecting a little princess. The day she was born was the happiest day of their lives. Everyone thought she was the most precious thing to grace their family in ... well, in just a really long time. That sweet little princess began to cry. A lot. No matter what the wonderful man and his bride tried - the crying would not stop. They still thought their little princess was as precious as ever, as the bride rocked her for hours and paced the floor endlessly. That little princess grew and grew, and she couldn't have been more loved. Before she was 18 months old, the wonderful man and his bride became worried about their little princess. She wasn't starting to talk and didn't like hugs. Come to think of it - she had never babbled either. She behaved strangely, and would have times where she would scream for hours and bang her head on the ground. Then the seizures started. The wonderful man and his bride took the little princess from doctor to doctor. Medications were prescribed to stop the little princess from having seizures. The medications did not work. No one seemed worried (except the wonderful man and his bride) that the little princess still wasn't talking, and couldn't follow directions, nor could she be taken anywhere because of her propensity for 3+ hour tantrums. Finally, when the little princess was about 3 years old - the wonderful man's bride took her to a new neurologist, Dr. Ira Lott. Dr. Lott diagnosed the little princess with autism. Shortly after, the little princess was enrolled into the local school's special education preschool. The wonderful man and his bride cried the first day the "short" school bus pulled up in front of their house. The kind old bus driver escorted the little princess onto the bus. The bus driver's assistant buckled the little princess into a car seat - and off they drove. The wonderful man and his bride stood on the sidewalk in front of their house, held each other, and wept quietly. Year after year the little princess would get on a short yellow bus to attend special education class at school. Preschool turned into elementary school. Elementary school into junior high school. And finally, high school. The little princess wasn't little any more. But to the wonderful man and his bride - she was still their princess (even though they had been blessed with 4 more children by then). The princess no longer screamed and cried. She had come a long way. She could speak beautifully and carry on a conversation. She was an avid reader, and loved riding horses. The princess had even discovered how wonderful hugs and snuggles were. She no longer needed to ride the "short" bus. She now rode the regular bus with everyone else. The princess made friends at her high school too. She fit in, and even when she didn't - the kids, and the teachers loved her anyway.
One day the princess came home beaming! The wonderful man and his bride were excited to find out what wonderful news their princess had for them. The princess burst out with the news that she had been chosen to be the Junior Class Princess of the Homecoming Court at school! The wonderful man and his bride showered their princess with hugs and kisses. They rushed out the door....they had to go dress shopping! The next day, the whole family...the wonderful man, his bride, the princess, and their 4 other children arrived at the high school to watch the homecoming football game. At half time, there was a flurry of excitement as 4 girls, and 3 boys stepped out onto the football field. It was the Royal Homecoming Court. And among them was THEIR princess! The princess was wearing a beautiful, sparkly, long blue dress. She was arm in arm with the Junior Class Prince, who was in his football uniform. As they announced her name - she was given flowers and a tiara was placed on her head. The wonderful man and his bride stood in the bleachers, held each other, and wept quietly. Their little princess was a real princess after all.
One day the princess came home beaming! The wonderful man and his bride were excited to find out what wonderful news their princess had for them. The princess burst out with the news that she had been chosen to be the Junior Class Princess of the Homecoming Court at school! The wonderful man and his bride showered their princess with hugs and kisses. They rushed out the door....they had to go dress shopping! The next day, the whole family...the wonderful man, his bride, the princess, and their 4 other children arrived at the high school to watch the homecoming football game. At half time, there was a flurry of excitement as 4 girls, and 3 boys stepped out onto the football field. It was the Royal Homecoming Court. And among them was THEIR princess! The princess was wearing a beautiful, sparkly, long blue dress. She was arm in arm with the Junior Class Prince, who was in his football uniform. As they announced her name - she was given flowers and a tiara was placed on her head. The wonderful man and his bride stood in the bleachers, held each other, and wept quietly. Their little princess was a real princess after all.
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