I really has been a long time. The last time I wrote, our 3rd child, Jack had been diagnosed with autism. He was doing well in 4th grade at school. In the last 3+ years things have gone very awry. His 5th grade year was a struggle, and then we moved again due to "needs of the service" - hubby's job and all. And we landed in Cape Cod. Late July 2017.
Once in Cape Cod ... awry doesn't even begin to describe the trajectory of things. To say Jack was floundering at school would be an understatement. Middle school a.k.a Jr. High is the armpit of childhood. The worst years. And shortly after school started in late August - Jack began getting suspended. Almost weekly. In late October, I decided to bring him back home and try homeschooling again. After a honeymoon phase of just a few weeks thing deteriorated at home too. We enrolled Jack in therapy - and after a while, the therapist suggested putting him back at school to give myself a break. Things at home had begun to disintegrate due to his now escalating behavior. He returned to school after spring break - and within a week was doing so poorly he was hospitalized for the very first time.
That, my friends is a low point no parent is every prepared for. Having the call emergency because your child is a danger to self and/or others. Having the authorities come and take your child to hospital. Between being in the pediatric ward at hospital, and being transferred to an in-patient, adolescent treatment facility - Jack was away for nearly 2 weeks. He was put on medications. When we brought him home - he was glad to tell us he never wanted to go back the the treatment program again. We were all very hopeful. But things did not stay stable with him. In late August he attempted suicide. Thankfully he was unsuccessful. We found him, and there was another hospital stay. This time only 36 hours in the regular hospital before he was transferred back the the adolescent inpatient, behavioral health treatment facility. The stay there this time was about 5 days. School started in September 2016, and things were not quite as stable as we would have liked, and Jack attended a partial-hospitalization day program. 8am to 3pm about 45 minutes away, for 2 weeks.
Upon return to school in late September (2016). Again, it became clear that Jack was not being successful at school. Even though we had met with the school team at the closing of the last school year and made an IEP for Jack. Even though special stop gaps, and services were in place for him. It becoming very apparent that regular, gov't school was not the place for Jack. Around Thanksgiving Jack was placed in a therapeutic day school for children with behavior and mental health issues. There was a trial 45 day period. After that period, in February 2017 we met with the education team again. It was decided that Jack should not go back to a the regular school - but should stay at the therapeutic day school for the remainder of the year. We will meet again in mid-May to discuss where Jack will attend for the 2017-2018 school year. His 8th grade year.
In all this time, Jack failed out of three different therapists. How can you "fail" out of therapy? Well, when you see the therapist regularly for 6 months or more and there isn't any progress - you move on. And after three different therapists - we just decided to give Jack, us, and our wallets a break. And honestly, he attends a therapeutic day school. Which is effectively an institutional-esque setting. He has also been seeing a psychiatrist, who manages his medications. Not only does he have the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis, but also ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), and ADHD. He is on two different meds to help manage things. And he is fairly stable at the moment. And has been for a few months. I credit that largely with the school he is at. Weekends, and school vacations are still the hardest times for him. With 4 children still at home, going all different ways for sports, and activities - I do not have it within me to run my home like a therapeutic/institutional school. Which is what he really needs to thrive.
I am going to end this post here. It has been all about Jack. And trust me when I say that my life has become all about Jack over the last 3 years. Everything in our home seems to hinge on him and how he is behaving, or not behaving. It is emotionally draining and exhausting. I feel like a circus clown trying to stay balanced atop a unicycle - while juggling 6 balls. Trying to keep everyone else on an even keel - and on the right path. And it is ever so hard to be the rock and touch point for everyone in the family. And no one notices that the rock is cracked and starting to crumble.
