I really has been a long time. The last time I wrote, our 3rd child, Jack had been diagnosed with autism. He was doing well in 4th grade at school. In the last 3+ years things have gone very awry. His 5th grade year was a struggle, and then we moved again due to "needs of the service" - hubby's job and all. And we landed in Cape Cod. Late July 2017.
Once in Cape Cod ... awry doesn't even begin to describe the trajectory of things. To say Jack was floundering at school would be an understatement. Middle school a.k.a Jr. High is the armpit of childhood. The worst years. And shortly after school started in late August - Jack began getting suspended. Almost weekly. In late October, I decided to bring him back home and try homeschooling again. After a honeymoon phase of just a few weeks thing deteriorated at home too. We enrolled Jack in therapy - and after a while, the therapist suggested putting him back at school to give myself a break. Things at home had begun to disintegrate due to his now escalating behavior. He returned to school after spring break - and within a week was doing so poorly he was hospitalized for the very first time.
That, my friends is a low point no parent is every prepared for. Having the call emergency because your child is a danger to self and/or others. Having the authorities come and take your child to hospital. Between being in the pediatric ward at hospital, and being transferred to an in-patient, adolescent treatment facility - Jack was away for nearly 2 weeks. He was put on medications. When we brought him home - he was glad to tell us he never wanted to go back the the treatment program again. We were all very hopeful. But things did not stay stable with him. In late August he attempted suicide. Thankfully he was unsuccessful. We found him, and there was another hospital stay. This time only 36 hours in the regular hospital before he was transferred back the the adolescent inpatient, behavioral health treatment facility. The stay there this time was about 5 days. School started in September 2016, and things were not quite as stable as we would have liked, and Jack attended a partial-hospitalization day program. 8am to 3pm about 45 minutes away, for 2 weeks.
Upon return to school in late September (2016). Again, it became clear that Jack was not being successful at school. Even though we had met with the school team at the closing of the last school year and made an IEP for Jack. Even though special stop gaps, and services were in place for him. It becoming very apparent that regular, gov't school was not the place for Jack. Around Thanksgiving Jack was placed in a therapeutic day school for children with behavior and mental health issues. There was a trial 45 day period. After that period, in February 2017 we met with the education team again. It was decided that Jack should not go back to a the regular school - but should stay at the therapeutic day school for the remainder of the year. We will meet again in mid-May to discuss where Jack will attend for the 2017-2018 school year. His 8th grade year.
In all this time, Jack failed out of three different therapists. How can you "fail" out of therapy? Well, when you see the therapist regularly for 6 months or more and there isn't any progress - you move on. And after three different therapists - we just decided to give Jack, us, and our wallets a break. And honestly, he attends a therapeutic day school. Which is effectively an institutional-esque setting. He has also been seeing a psychiatrist, who manages his medications. Not only does he have the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis, but also ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), and ADHD. He is on two different meds to help manage things. And he is fairly stable at the moment. And has been for a few months. I credit that largely with the school he is at. Weekends, and school vacations are still the hardest times for him. With 4 children still at home, going all different ways for sports, and activities - I do not have it within me to run my home like a therapeutic/institutional school. Which is what he really needs to thrive.
I am going to end this post here. It has been all about Jack. And trust me when I say that my life has become all about Jack over the last 3 years. Everything in our home seems to hinge on him and how he is behaving, or not behaving. It is emotionally draining and exhausting. I feel like a circus clown trying to stay balanced atop a unicycle - while juggling 6 balls. Trying to keep everyone else on an even keel - and on the right path. And it is ever so hard to be the rock and touch point for everyone in the family. And no one notices that the rock is cracked and starting to crumble.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Not only bookends - but a book on the shelf too.
Much going on in the Ambriz circus. *cue calliope music*
As the title of my blog infers, our oldest and youngest children have autism. They are our "bookends" so to speak. The first and last of our progeny - unless the good LORD decides to bless us with more. And as I am 41, an hubby is 43 - that window is inching closer and closer to closing. But that is another story.
Our middle child, Jack, age 12, has long struggled academically. Well, if I am honest he has struggle with many things. We suspected learning disabilities. Dyslexia and auditory processing disorders were my best guesses. Others had suggest ADHD. Up until this year I had homeschooled him with the other 3 children.Our oldest child - whose autism was always on the more severe side has attended a special education program from the time she turned 3. Back to Jack. Schooling him at home had become very difficult and disruptive to the learning of the other 3 children. So as the 2013-2014 school year loomed over our heads - hubby and I prayerfully decided to enroll Jack in gov't school. It has proved to be good for him. He has a wonderful teacher who jut adores him, and knows how to meet him where he is.
Earlier in the fall we were able to take Jack to see a neuro-pychologist to have in depth testing done to get to the bottom of his academic struggles. The neuro-psych did close to 6 hours of testing over a series of several days. Jack was also evaluated by a speech and language pathologist, an audiologist, and an occupational therapist. Last month hubby and I went in and met with the neuro-psych to go over the results. I went in hopeful. Expecting to find out which learning disability(ies) were plaguing him and how to help him overcome them. Or that he had ADHD and a magic pill would help. Instead we were gut punched...Autism.
Autism.
Another one? Another autistic child? Thank makes 3 out of 5.
Noooooo.
Certainly she must be mistaken. No learning disabilities? No ADHD? No pill that can help?
***I do not advocate medicating children. In fact - for years when others had suggested medication might help out son, we had shrugged it off. No way. We are not plying our children with drugs to make him easier for us to handle. After struggling for years (and years) - we had come to realize maybe he needed something, as it was getting clearer everyday he could not control his behavior. Not that he did not want to....but that he could not.***
Autism.
He is going to struggle for the rest of his life. Always. I do not want that for my precious boy. I do not want to go down this road. Again.
But we will. Hubby and I will take his hands in ours and we will walk this path together. We will not give up on him. And he will be the best he can be. We will fight for him. We will fight with him - against this enemy that we can now name. Even though the beast is different from the one we thought we were fighting. You see - we heard hoof beats and were looking for a horse....we didn't realize the sound was coming from the zebra in the room.
I have heard that God only sends his strongest and best warriors into battle. And as we gear up for our 3rd deployment against this monster - we realize we are not alone. We have been tasked with this for a reason. His purpose. And we may never know it. But we must trust our Creator and Savior - that He knows better than us. And He never gives us 2nd best.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. There are no mistakes. So even Jack was made as he was intended to be. He too will touch the world for our Master's sake and change it in ways we may never know.
As the title of my blog infers, our oldest and youngest children have autism. They are our "bookends" so to speak. The first and last of our progeny - unless the good LORD decides to bless us with more. And as I am 41, an hubby is 43 - that window is inching closer and closer to closing. But that is another story.
Our middle child, Jack, age 12, has long struggled academically. Well, if I am honest he has struggle with many things. We suspected learning disabilities. Dyslexia and auditory processing disorders were my best guesses. Others had suggest ADHD. Up until this year I had homeschooled him with the other 3 children.Our oldest child - whose autism was always on the more severe side has attended a special education program from the time she turned 3. Back to Jack. Schooling him at home had become very difficult and disruptive to the learning of the other 3 children. So as the 2013-2014 school year loomed over our heads - hubby and I prayerfully decided to enroll Jack in gov't school. It has proved to be good for him. He has a wonderful teacher who jut adores him, and knows how to meet him where he is.
Earlier in the fall we were able to take Jack to see a neuro-pychologist to have in depth testing done to get to the bottom of his academic struggles. The neuro-psych did close to 6 hours of testing over a series of several days. Jack was also evaluated by a speech and language pathologist, an audiologist, and an occupational therapist. Last month hubby and I went in and met with the neuro-psych to go over the results. I went in hopeful. Expecting to find out which learning disability(ies) were plaguing him and how to help him overcome them. Or that he had ADHD and a magic pill would help. Instead we were gut punched...Autism.
Autism.
Another one? Another autistic child? Thank makes 3 out of 5.
Noooooo.
Certainly she must be mistaken. No learning disabilities? No ADHD? No pill that can help?
***I do not advocate medicating children. In fact - for years when others had suggested medication might help out son, we had shrugged it off. No way. We are not plying our children with drugs to make him easier for us to handle. After struggling for years (and years) - we had come to realize maybe he needed something, as it was getting clearer everyday he could not control his behavior. Not that he did not want to....but that he could not.***
Autism.
He is going to struggle for the rest of his life. Always. I do not want that for my precious boy. I do not want to go down this road. Again.
But we will. Hubby and I will take his hands in ours and we will walk this path together. We will not give up on him. And he will be the best he can be. We will fight for him. We will fight with him - against this enemy that we can now name. Even though the beast is different from the one we thought we were fighting. You see - we heard hoof beats and were looking for a horse....we didn't realize the sound was coming from the zebra in the room.
I have heard that God only sends his strongest and best warriors into battle. And as we gear up for our 3rd deployment against this monster - we realize we are not alone. We have been tasked with this for a reason. His purpose. And we may never know it. But we must trust our Creator and Savior - that He knows better than us. And He never gives us 2nd best.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. There are no mistakes. So even Jack was made as he was intended to be. He too will touch the world for our Master's sake and change it in ways we may never know.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Lots of good news to be had!
Hello out there! Lots going on in the Ambriz Family.
A few weeks ago we found out where we are heading, or rather where the Coast Guard is sending us. Drum roll please.....Memphis, Tennessee! We couldn't be more thrilled. Of course crime is big in the city itself - so we will be living about 45 minutes away in a much more rural setting. Good news is that we will only be a day's drive from my dad and his side of the family, and from the Creation Museum. We thought we were moving in June - but things have changed a bit. Hubby's new billet needs him there sooner - and his replacement for here should be arriving in March. So - it looks like we'll be on the road again sometime in the last half of March, or early April. I told my dad, and he is thrilled, because it means I can drive up for my grandpa's (dad's dad) 93rd birthday in May. My grandfather hasn't met any of my children in person. My grandpa has over 25 great grandchildren now...in fact, I think he may have a couple of great great grandchildren even. It is sad to think about - how so many people are limiting their families to 1 or 2 children - what a heritage they are missing out on. My grandmother (dad's mom) died when I was 5 or 6. I bet she would have really cherished the heritage she has through her 5 children, 15 grand children, 25+ great grandchildren (so far), and possibly great grandchildren now.
Today we found out that Hubby will be getting promoted to Chief on 1 February 2013. I am so proud of him! He has worked hard, and is a good leader. In fact, the other day he came home really late. Turns out he was giving one of his workers some marital advice. Here we have been married nearly 19 years (in March). We have been through a lot. I felt so much respect for him as a man when he said that a man (fairly recently married) had come to him for some advice and support. I was glad that he took the time to talk with him at length, and took him under his wing. Marriage isn't easy. I think sometimes we are lulled into the mistaken idea that it is all romance, chocolate and flowers, and lovey dovey stuff all the time. When in actuality it is a lot of hard work! Talk about blood, sweat, and tears. But here we are. Soon to be 19 years. 5 children. And hubby is on his downhill slide toward retirement from his military career. 3.5 years until he is eligible for retirement. But I think he is planning on staying at least 5 more. I need to go back to college. Even though I have a degree, I want to get some fresh skills that are marketable - should I need to work. Hubby isn't sure what he wants to do. If he retires at 20 years - he'll get a 50% pension. But he'll only be 45. So he could start a whole new career. We shall see where the good LORD takes us.
With that I will say goodbye. It is after midnight and I need to hit the hay. Until next time....
Be Blessed,
Tiffany
A few weeks ago we found out where we are heading, or rather where the Coast Guard is sending us. Drum roll please.....Memphis, Tennessee! We couldn't be more thrilled. Of course crime is big in the city itself - so we will be living about 45 minutes away in a much more rural setting. Good news is that we will only be a day's drive from my dad and his side of the family, and from the Creation Museum. We thought we were moving in June - but things have changed a bit. Hubby's new billet needs him there sooner - and his replacement for here should be arriving in March. So - it looks like we'll be on the road again sometime in the last half of March, or early April. I told my dad, and he is thrilled, because it means I can drive up for my grandpa's (dad's dad) 93rd birthday in May. My grandfather hasn't met any of my children in person. My grandpa has over 25 great grandchildren now...in fact, I think he may have a couple of great great grandchildren even. It is sad to think about - how so many people are limiting their families to 1 or 2 children - what a heritage they are missing out on. My grandmother (dad's mom) died when I was 5 or 6. I bet she would have really cherished the heritage she has through her 5 children, 15 grand children, 25+ great grandchildren (so far), and possibly great grandchildren now.
Today we found out that Hubby will be getting promoted to Chief on 1 February 2013. I am so proud of him! He has worked hard, and is a good leader. In fact, the other day he came home really late. Turns out he was giving one of his workers some marital advice. Here we have been married nearly 19 years (in March). We have been through a lot. I felt so much respect for him as a man when he said that a man (fairly recently married) had come to him for some advice and support. I was glad that he took the time to talk with him at length, and took him under his wing. Marriage isn't easy. I think sometimes we are lulled into the mistaken idea that it is all romance, chocolate and flowers, and lovey dovey stuff all the time. When in actuality it is a lot of hard work! Talk about blood, sweat, and tears. But here we are. Soon to be 19 years. 5 children. And hubby is on his downhill slide toward retirement from his military career. 3.5 years until he is eligible for retirement. But I think he is planning on staying at least 5 more. I need to go back to college. Even though I have a degree, I want to get some fresh skills that are marketable - should I need to work. Hubby isn't sure what he wants to do. If he retires at 20 years - he'll get a 50% pension. But he'll only be 45. So he could start a whole new career. We shall see where the good LORD takes us.
With that I will say goodbye. It is after midnight and I need to hit the hay. Until next time....
Be Blessed,
Tiffany
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Good bye 2012
How is it that another whole year has gone by? Time seems to be ticking faster and faster every year. We enjoyed a wonderful Hanukkah. My mom visited for nearly a month, and then took our oldest 2 daughters back with her to California for a few weeks. The girls come home in 4 days. I have missed them so very much! We haven't had more than a dusting of snow so far. And we still don't know where we are being transferred to in June. The powers that be have announced that they are making 2 chiefs on January 1st. That puts Hubby at #2 on the list. Could be February or March when we see his promotion. We have been fighting a horrible cold/flu for 3 weeks or so. I hope to update more again soon when we are all well and have more info. Until next time....
Be Blessed!
Tiffany
Be Blessed!
Tiffany
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel...
It is that time of year again. Holy-Day time! We celebrate Hanukkah as messianic followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob - YHVH. However, most of our family and friends celebrate Christmas. Well, we can not, in good faith send out cards celebrating the pagan ritual of Christmas - now that we have come to know the truth. And it yet we can't really send everyone a Hanukkah card that does not celebrate this Holy-Day either. Last year we made a "Happy holiday" card, and that just didn't sit right with us. So this year, I created a wonderful card (with the help of my hubby who manned the camera). It proclaims our faith in Yeshua without being overtly "Hanukkah-y", and stays clear of the trappings of Christmas. We used Shutterfly.com! It was so easy. They have so so many choices for cards, and photo layouts. Here is a preview of what will be coming to a mailbox near you. Hopefully I will find time to write a little "What the Ambriz Family has been up to in 2012" letter to include with it. Talk to you soon!
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1QauGrly1ZOJA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1QauGrly1ZOJA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET
Thursday, October 25, 2012
On the road again!
Hello, hello, hello. Did I ever tell you that we got the news that Hubby made the cut to be promoted to Chief this year? Well, this coming year. Sometime between January 1, 2013 and December 1, 2013 Hubby will be pinned as GMC Ambriz. He is, however, already Chief of my heart - and our home. We have also learned that we will be on the move this summer. Hubs was scheduled to be at this billet until June 2014. With him advancing - they have decided to send us on our merry way this summer. Well, truth be told - we were given the option to say whether we wanted to stay or go. We chose to go. I know you are all chomping at the bit to know where we are going. Want to know?....Well....We don't know. Yet. I will say that Hubby's list looked something like this....
Milwalke, WI
Buffalo, NY
Yorktown, VA
Atlantic City, NJ
Atlantic Beach, NC
San Diego, CA
Sault Saint Marie, MI
These are the places that didn't make it onto our list....
Charleston, SC
Oakland, CA
Norfolk, VA
Key West, FL
Kodiak, AK
Port Clinton, OH
*Port Clinton was actually a place we really wanted to go to. BUT...that particular job is a deployable, security unit. Given the state of things in the middle east, and the fact that I would wager a hefty bet there will be at least a regional war - and quite possibly a global war there in the next few years; we decided to not hedge our bets and left it off.
Of course, the Coast Guard can send us anywhere they darn well please. We are leaving it in God's hands, and want to be where He wants to send us. So, we will happily go where we are sent. It is possible that we will know before - but I am thinking we won't know until sometime between the New Year, and mid-March. I will, of course, keep you posted.
Until next time...
Be blessed!,
Tiffany
Milwalke, WI
Buffalo, NY
Yorktown, VA
Atlantic City, NJ
Atlantic Beach, NC
San Diego, CA
Sault Saint Marie, MI
These are the places that didn't make it onto our list....
Charleston, SC
Oakland, CA
Norfolk, VA
Key West, FL
Kodiak, AK
Port Clinton, OH
*Port Clinton was actually a place we really wanted to go to. BUT...that particular job is a deployable, security unit. Given the state of things in the middle east, and the fact that I would wager a hefty bet there will be at least a regional war - and quite possibly a global war there in the next few years; we decided to not hedge our bets and left it off.
Of course, the Coast Guard can send us anywhere they darn well please. We are leaving it in God's hands, and want to be where He wants to send us. So, we will happily go where we are sent. It is possible that we will know before - but I am thinking we won't know until sometime between the New Year, and mid-March. I will, of course, keep you posted.
Until next time...
Be blessed!,
Tiffany
Monday, October 15, 2012
It is a fairy tale after all...
Once upon a time, a wonderful man and his bride were expecting a little princess. The day she was born was the happiest day of their lives. Everyone thought she was the most precious thing to grace their family in ... well, in just a really long time. That sweet little princess began to cry. A lot. No matter what the wonderful man and his bride tried - the crying would not stop. They still thought their little princess was as precious as ever, as the bride rocked her for hours and paced the floor endlessly. That little princess grew and grew, and she couldn't have been more loved. Before she was 18 months old, the wonderful man and his bride became worried about their little princess. She wasn't starting to talk and didn't like hugs. Come to think of it - she had never babbled either. She behaved strangely, and would have times where she would scream for hours and bang her head on the ground. Then the seizures started. The wonderful man and his bride took the little princess from doctor to doctor. Medications were prescribed to stop the little princess from having seizures. The medications did not work. No one seemed worried (except the wonderful man and his bride) that the little princess still wasn't talking, and couldn't follow directions, nor could she be taken anywhere because of her propensity for 3+ hour tantrums. Finally, when the little princess was about 3 years old - the wonderful man's bride took her to a new neurologist, Dr. Ira Lott. Dr. Lott diagnosed the little princess with autism. Shortly after, the little princess was enrolled into the local school's special education preschool. The wonderful man and his bride cried the first day the "short" school bus pulled up in front of their house. The kind old bus driver escorted the little princess onto the bus. The bus driver's assistant buckled the little princess into a car seat - and off they drove. The wonderful man and his bride stood on the sidewalk in front of their house, held each other, and wept quietly. Year after year the little princess would get on a short yellow bus to attend special education class at school. Preschool turned into elementary school. Elementary school into junior high school. And finally, high school. The little princess wasn't little any more. But to the wonderful man and his bride - she was still their princess (even though they had been blessed with 4 more children by then). The princess no longer screamed and cried. She had come a long way. She could speak beautifully and carry on a conversation. She was an avid reader, and loved riding horses. The princess had even discovered how wonderful hugs and snuggles were. She no longer needed to ride the "short" bus. She now rode the regular bus with everyone else. The princess made friends at her high school too. She fit in, and even when she didn't - the kids, and the teachers loved her anyway.
One day the princess came home beaming! The wonderful man and his bride were excited to find out what wonderful news their princess had for them. The princess burst out with the news that she had been chosen to be the Junior Class Princess of the Homecoming Court at school! The wonderful man and his bride showered their princess with hugs and kisses. They rushed out the door....they had to go dress shopping! The next day, the whole family...the wonderful man, his bride, the princess, and their 4 other children arrived at the high school to watch the homecoming football game. At half time, there was a flurry of excitement as 4 girls, and 3 boys stepped out onto the football field. It was the Royal Homecoming Court. And among them was THEIR princess! The princess was wearing a beautiful, sparkly, long blue dress. She was arm in arm with the Junior Class Prince, who was in his football uniform. As they announced her name - she was given flowers and a tiara was placed on her head. The wonderful man and his bride stood in the bleachers, held each other, and wept quietly. Their little princess was a real princess after all.
One day the princess came home beaming! The wonderful man and his bride were excited to find out what wonderful news their princess had for them. The princess burst out with the news that she had been chosen to be the Junior Class Princess of the Homecoming Court at school! The wonderful man and his bride showered their princess with hugs and kisses. They rushed out the door....they had to go dress shopping! The next day, the whole family...the wonderful man, his bride, the princess, and their 4 other children arrived at the high school to watch the homecoming football game. At half time, there was a flurry of excitement as 4 girls, and 3 boys stepped out onto the football field. It was the Royal Homecoming Court. And among them was THEIR princess! The princess was wearing a beautiful, sparkly, long blue dress. She was arm in arm with the Junior Class Prince, who was in his football uniform. As they announced her name - she was given flowers and a tiara was placed on her head. The wonderful man and his bride stood in the bleachers, held each other, and wept quietly. Their little princess was a real princess after all.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Where did summer go - and is that frost already?
I am at a loss for a whitty title. Again.
We have begun the 2012-2013 school year. I don't know why - but suddenly adding a 3rd, full time schooling child has really changed the dynamics of our little home school in the boonies. Often, I am not done schooling everyone until dinner - and the house has never been less organized. And yet - I am thankful that YHVH has blessed me to be able to have a home to be messy, and my husband with a job that allows me to stay home and school the children.
Hubby took the 2012 Service Wide Exam in May to make chief. He tested well, and with his dinosaur points is sitting at #5 on the list (of about 80). I am so excited! We are expecting the cuts to be out any time in the next week or so. Praying this will mean we can move next summer.
Summer went by way too fast. Didn't do anything major. Camped out in the yard, swam in the pool. The kids all grew. And we are already waking up to a frost nearly every morning.
Sadly, I have 3 family members struggling with cancer. My father was diagnosed with colon cancer last year. They got it all with surgery, and he is going for follow up routinely - but they found a few more polps recently. My dad's next youngest brother was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer a few months ago and has been given 12 to 18 months to live. There is no real treatment for small cell cancer. My mom's brother had prostate cancer - stage 3. They treated it with radiation - and he was doing better, but recent tests indicate the cancer is growing again. I hate cancer.
There is so much more to say, but lunch break is over and it is back to the grindstone....
We have begun the 2012-2013 school year. I don't know why - but suddenly adding a 3rd, full time schooling child has really changed the dynamics of our little home school in the boonies. Often, I am not done schooling everyone until dinner - and the house has never been less organized. And yet - I am thankful that YHVH has blessed me to be able to have a home to be messy, and my husband with a job that allows me to stay home and school the children.
Hubby took the 2012 Service Wide Exam in May to make chief. He tested well, and with his dinosaur points is sitting at #5 on the list (of about 80). I am so excited! We are expecting the cuts to be out any time in the next week or so. Praying this will mean we can move next summer.
Summer went by way too fast. Didn't do anything major. Camped out in the yard, swam in the pool. The kids all grew. And we are already waking up to a frost nearly every morning.
Sadly, I have 3 family members struggling with cancer. My father was diagnosed with colon cancer last year. They got it all with surgery, and he is going for follow up routinely - but they found a few more polps recently. My dad's next youngest brother was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer a few months ago and has been given 12 to 18 months to live. There is no real treatment for small cell cancer. My mom's brother had prostate cancer - stage 3. They treated it with radiation - and he was doing better, but recent tests indicate the cancer is growing again. I hate cancer.
There is so much more to say, but lunch break is over and it is back to the grindstone....
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Education.
I am so overjoyed, and sad. How wonderfully complex our YHVH made us! Our 5 children are all so fearfully and wonderfully made - and YHVH made them all so different. I have made some discoveries lately about my children's academic abilities and struggles. It was a boon for me, as I realized I am not failing them in education - but it also tore at my heart to realize that I do have a child who struggles immensely despite all the different things I have tried with him.
It is no secret that our oldest has autism. She is now what you could call "high functioning". She is in regular ed. classes in 10th grade at age 17 (she just had her birthday last week), with the exception of math. She goes to public school - and always has. It started when she was 3, and she got on that short yellow "special" bus to special education preschool and has just continued. She was always in self contained programs. She was protected in a little nest, so to speak. Until high school. She has bloomed in many ways. I look at her and marvel at how far she has come, but it is sobering also that she is nearly an adult and won't be doing normal adult things (that is another post for another time).
Our 2nd child, Esther is my right hand gal. She is 11 going on 25. Taught herself to read at age 3. Flourishes where ever she is. She went to private kindergarten at our church school in San Diego, and then I have homeschooled her from 1st grade on. Schooling is easy for her - and she zips through her work most day is 90 minutes or so. Devours books like there is no tomorrow.
Child number 3 is Jack. He is my struggling learner, in regards to reading. Math- he is a wiz. Jack is exceptionally bright, and loves to learn. He has so much to say, about anything and everything. You can watch the gears in his mind spin. He thinks about everything! However, he struggles with reading. And by struggle - I mean outright fights for every little baby step he makes in progress. It exhausts him, and rather depresses him. At 9 (almost 10), I feel I have tried everything. It is just a very very slow go. Most days it takes him 4+ hours to get through his individual school work. And it breaks my heart. I know he feels stupid.
4th in line is Pippa. Miss Penelope Pit Stop. Princess Pea. She is 5, and about 6 month ago started reading. At. Break. Neck. Speed. She is now a fluent reading with feeling. Probably reading mid-2nd grade level. (Probably better than Jack. And as I type that I cry.) Math stumps her sometimes...I used to chuckle about how well she reads, and yet 1+1=11 to her. But she is making progress there and "gets" basic addition and subtraction now. I school her sporadically, as time allows. Which really isn't more than once or twice a week for 30 minutes. Age wise, I should be starting kindergarten curriculum with her in the fall, but will start first grade instead. Why hold her back because of her age?
Israel (aka Izzy) is thus far, last in line...our caboose. He knows his letters, numbers, and shocked me this morning by pointing to a word and reading it. Izzy is 4, a sweet heart, cute as a bug's ear, and just a ball of joy. I haven't really spent any time schooling him formally. I am hoping that next fall, when Pippa settles into formal sit down instruction, I'll have some time to spend with him 1:1.
I used to think I wasn't a good teacher. That I just got lucky with Esther. Jack struggled so much with reading. I knew it was me. Then Pippa came along and picked up reading. I started to wonder if maybe Jack just had some special problems...maybe it wasn't ALL me. Now that Izzy is starting to read - and showing none of the issues Jack has, I am fairly convinced it is not me. My heart breaks that at nearly 10, the 5 year old reads better than he does. I hate to see how hard Jack has to work to learn a skill - only to realize the next day, that he did not retain it. That we are back to square one. I remember being in a grocery store when I was 20. A man approached me with some cans of cat food. He asked me to read the label and tell me what flavor they were. He could not read. I realize that my son is not much better off, and secretly fear that he will be that man someday. Jack thinks he is stupid - and I tell him he is not, and remind him of all of his wonderful talents. But when you struggle with basic reading, and your sibling that is 5 years younger can out read you - it doesn't seem to matter. I am in the process of getting Jack an appointment to see a neuro-psychologist for educational assessment. I hope that can shed some light, and maybe point us down some unknown road we haven't yet tried.
It is no secret that our oldest has autism. She is now what you could call "high functioning". She is in regular ed. classes in 10th grade at age 17 (she just had her birthday last week), with the exception of math. She goes to public school - and always has. It started when she was 3, and she got on that short yellow "special" bus to special education preschool and has just continued. She was always in self contained programs. She was protected in a little nest, so to speak. Until high school. She has bloomed in many ways. I look at her and marvel at how far she has come, but it is sobering also that she is nearly an adult and won't be doing normal adult things (that is another post for another time).
Our 2nd child, Esther is my right hand gal. She is 11 going on 25. Taught herself to read at age 3. Flourishes where ever she is. She went to private kindergarten at our church school in San Diego, and then I have homeschooled her from 1st grade on. Schooling is easy for her - and she zips through her work most day is 90 minutes or so. Devours books like there is no tomorrow.
Child number 3 is Jack. He is my struggling learner, in regards to reading. Math- he is a wiz. Jack is exceptionally bright, and loves to learn. He has so much to say, about anything and everything. You can watch the gears in his mind spin. He thinks about everything! However, he struggles with reading. And by struggle - I mean outright fights for every little baby step he makes in progress. It exhausts him, and rather depresses him. At 9 (almost 10), I feel I have tried everything. It is just a very very slow go. Most days it takes him 4+ hours to get through his individual school work. And it breaks my heart. I know he feels stupid.
4th in line is Pippa. Miss Penelope Pit Stop. Princess Pea. She is 5, and about 6 month ago started reading. At. Break. Neck. Speed. She is now a fluent reading with feeling. Probably reading mid-2nd grade level. (Probably better than Jack. And as I type that I cry.) Math stumps her sometimes...I used to chuckle about how well she reads, and yet 1+1=11 to her. But she is making progress there and "gets" basic addition and subtraction now. I school her sporadically, as time allows. Which really isn't more than once or twice a week for 30 minutes. Age wise, I should be starting kindergarten curriculum with her in the fall, but will start first grade instead. Why hold her back because of her age?
Israel (aka Izzy) is thus far, last in line...our caboose. He knows his letters, numbers, and shocked me this morning by pointing to a word and reading it. Izzy is 4, a sweet heart, cute as a bug's ear, and just a ball of joy. I haven't really spent any time schooling him formally. I am hoping that next fall, when Pippa settles into formal sit down instruction, I'll have some time to spend with him 1:1.
I used to think I wasn't a good teacher. That I just got lucky with Esther. Jack struggled so much with reading. I knew it was me. Then Pippa came along and picked up reading. I started to wonder if maybe Jack just had some special problems...maybe it wasn't ALL me. Now that Izzy is starting to read - and showing none of the issues Jack has, I am fairly convinced it is not me. My heart breaks that at nearly 10, the 5 year old reads better than he does. I hate to see how hard Jack has to work to learn a skill - only to realize the next day, that he did not retain it. That we are back to square one. I remember being in a grocery store when I was 20. A man approached me with some cans of cat food. He asked me to read the label and tell me what flavor they were. He could not read. I realize that my son is not much better off, and secretly fear that he will be that man someday. Jack thinks he is stupid - and I tell him he is not, and remind him of all of his wonderful talents. But when you struggle with basic reading, and your sibling that is 5 years younger can out read you - it doesn't seem to matter. I am in the process of getting Jack an appointment to see a neuro-psychologist for educational assessment. I hope that can shed some light, and maybe point us down some unknown road we haven't yet tried.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Hello 2012! Where have I been?
I guess I haven't been to update-y on this thing have I? Here we are. 1/6th through 2012. We made some big changes over the summer and at the end of 2011.
In August. Shortly after coming back from our trip to California to visit my mom. We moved out to the country. Not too far. About 20 miles outside of town. I (mostly) love country life.
We left our church. It was not an easy choice. The pastor/elders appointed someone into the leadership of the church who adheres to unBiblical beliefs. Beliefs that actually are directly apposed to the church's statement of faith. And this person was actively involved in prosylitizing members of the congregation to his beliefs (despite being warned by the pastor not to). We went to an elder. Then the board of elders. Finally we met with the pastor and the head elder. There was no budging. We chose to leave. In all, 4 families left.
We were hard pressed to find a Bible believing, Bible teaching church. In the end, we found a home church. It is actually a Messianic Jewish congregation. We have been learning a great deal.
Will finish this later...I must run to take Olivia to school.....
In August. Shortly after coming back from our trip to California to visit my mom. We moved out to the country. Not too far. About 20 miles outside of town. I (mostly) love country life.
We left our church. It was not an easy choice. The pastor/elders appointed someone into the leadership of the church who adheres to unBiblical beliefs. Beliefs that actually are directly apposed to the church's statement of faith. And this person was actively involved in prosylitizing members of the congregation to his beliefs (despite being warned by the pastor not to). We went to an elder. Then the board of elders. Finally we met with the pastor and the head elder. There was no budging. We chose to leave. In all, 4 families left.
We were hard pressed to find a Bible believing, Bible teaching church. In the end, we found a home church. It is actually a Messianic Jewish congregation. We have been learning a great deal.
Will finish this later...I must run to take Olivia to school.....
Thursday, September 15, 2011
A blessing from the Lord!
Hello out there, what a blessing we have had! I have known for 6 months that our washing machine (a now 8 year old Fisher-Paykel eco-smart) was leaking. We moved last month to a lovely home on acreage in the country, and when we did - it started REALLY leaking....like, it took a beach towel to catch all the water over the period of a 24 hour period. (With 5 kids I do 3+ loads of laundry a day.) So we have been looking and looking and looking at washing machines. I really liked the GE 4.1 cu. ft. front loader. Reviews seemed good, and I discovered that a dear friend of mine who has 9 children has one and loves it. But, it retails for $999. Logistically, I could not justify spending that much on a washer. So - I put it out of my mind. We have to be content with where the Lord has us.
As I said, Hubby and I have been researching machines and looking around the local shops and on the internet and found one we thought would be a good fit - for just under $700. We had been waiting for payday (yesterday) to purchase it.
Of course, I chat with my mom often - she is such a blessing in my life. Ok, daily. I admit it. So my mom knows the washing machine saga - and how I had hoped to limp our old leaky washer along until we got our tax return in February or so. But I just couldn't wait any longer. We had discussed the $700 washer Hubby was getting, etc. Yesterday, I am on-line checking our bank accounts to make sure Hubby's pay had been deposited and that it was for the correct amount. You see, working for the military - mistakes in pay are not uncommon and it is always a fear of mine that payday will come and we will only get 1/2 a pay check or something. You would not believe how often things like that happen. Someone pushes the wrong button somewhere and "whoops we accidentally took your husband off of the payroll". But that is another story for another time. So, I was on-line and discover there was an extra $500 in our account - deposited from my mom. I called mom to ask her about it. She said, "The Lord has been nagging me about it. I don't know why He didn't put it on my heart to give you the entire amount of the washer, but He didn't. He kept telling me to give you guys $500 for a washer." Of course, I thanked her profusely, and told her how grateful I am.
Ok, stay with me. So now it is yesterday afternoon. We have to go into town to take Liv (16) to her church youth group weekly Bible study. Since we are in town - we go over to Home Depot. I needed a bolt that I had lost to Esther's bed in the move last month. The poor gal has been sleeping with her mattress on the floor and when I went to assemble her bed yesterday, discovered we had lost a bolt in transit somewhere. While in Home Depot I feel this prompting to go and look at the washers. In my head, I thought "Why? We have already decided on the washer we are getting at another place." Well, the urging kept telling me to go and have a look "just because". So, I tell Hubby that I want to go check out Home Depot's washing machines -"just for grins". Thankfully Hubby didn't balk at me, or get cross at me since we had already decided on the washer for us. He is good that way. I love him.
So we saunter on over to the appliance section. The first washer we encounter is that GE 4.1 cu ft. front loader. Imagine my shock to see they were on sale for $578 (remember they retail for $999 normally). So I point this out to Hubby - and a really nice lady, Nancy says that if we buy the pair (washer and dryer) we get en extra $100 off the set. I tell her we are just buying a washer and she says, "Well then you still get $50 off". Hmmm. That brings the price down to $528. Nancy then mentions that if we are customers of PUD (Peninsula Utility District) for our electricity we get an extra $50 rebate for buying a high efficiency appliance. Well - since the move we ARE PUD customers. So, let me get this straight, I ask to make sure. This $999 washer is now going to cost us only $478? Her answer yes. I look at Hubby. He looks at me. He tells me to double check to reviews, and they are 95% good. Hubby then says, "we'll take it".
To bring this story around full circle. A few days ago Lord lays it on my mom's heart to give us $500 for the new washing machine. She doesn't understand why He would say $500 and not the entire amount for the $700 machine we were planning on purchasing - but she obeys. I listen to Him tell me to check out the washers at Home Depot while we were there for something else and get a $1000 washer for $478. God had mom only give us $500 because HE was going to provide a washer for less than $500. Isn't that just amazing? God is sooo good! If we will just trust and obey - and NOT lean on our own understand He will bless our socks off! Oh, and just a side note - yesterday was the last day of the sale. :) :) :)
As I said, Hubby and I have been researching machines and looking around the local shops and on the internet and found one we thought would be a good fit - for just under $700. We had been waiting for payday (yesterday) to purchase it.
Of course, I chat with my mom often - she is such a blessing in my life. Ok, daily. I admit it. So my mom knows the washing machine saga - and how I had hoped to limp our old leaky washer along until we got our tax return in February or so. But I just couldn't wait any longer. We had discussed the $700 washer Hubby was getting, etc. Yesterday, I am on-line checking our bank accounts to make sure Hubby's pay had been deposited and that it was for the correct amount. You see, working for the military - mistakes in pay are not uncommon and it is always a fear of mine that payday will come and we will only get 1/2 a pay check or something. You would not believe how often things like that happen. Someone pushes the wrong button somewhere and "whoops we accidentally took your husband off of the payroll". But that is another story for another time. So, I was on-line and discover there was an extra $500 in our account - deposited from my mom. I called mom to ask her about it. She said, "The Lord has been nagging me about it. I don't know why He didn't put it on my heart to give you the entire amount of the washer, but He didn't. He kept telling me to give you guys $500 for a washer." Of course, I thanked her profusely, and told her how grateful I am.
Ok, stay with me. So now it is yesterday afternoon. We have to go into town to take Liv (16) to her church youth group weekly Bible study. Since we are in town - we go over to Home Depot. I needed a bolt that I had lost to Esther's bed in the move last month. The poor gal has been sleeping with her mattress on the floor and when I went to assemble her bed yesterday, discovered we had lost a bolt in transit somewhere. While in Home Depot I feel this prompting to go and look at the washers. In my head, I thought "Why? We have already decided on the washer we are getting at another place." Well, the urging kept telling me to go and have a look "just because". So, I tell Hubby that I want to go check out Home Depot's washing machines -"just for grins". Thankfully Hubby didn't balk at me, or get cross at me since we had already decided on the washer for us. He is good that way. I love him.
So we saunter on over to the appliance section. The first washer we encounter is that GE 4.1 cu ft. front loader. Imagine my shock to see they were on sale for $578 (remember they retail for $999 normally). So I point this out to Hubby - and a really nice lady, Nancy says that if we buy the pair (washer and dryer) we get en extra $100 off the set. I tell her we are just buying a washer and she says, "Well then you still get $50 off". Hmmm. That brings the price down to $528. Nancy then mentions that if we are customers of PUD (Peninsula Utility District) for our electricity we get an extra $50 rebate for buying a high efficiency appliance. Well - since the move we ARE PUD customers. So, let me get this straight, I ask to make sure. This $999 washer is now going to cost us only $478? Her answer yes. I look at Hubby. He looks at me. He tells me to double check to reviews, and they are 95% good. Hubby then says, "we'll take it".
To bring this story around full circle. A few days ago Lord lays it on my mom's heart to give us $500 for the new washing machine. She doesn't understand why He would say $500 and not the entire amount for the $700 machine we were planning on purchasing - but she obeys. I listen to Him tell me to check out the washers at Home Depot while we were there for something else and get a $1000 washer for $478. God had mom only give us $500 because HE was going to provide a washer for less than $500. Isn't that just amazing? God is sooo good! If we will just trust and obey - and NOT lean on our own understand He will bless our socks off! Oh, and just a side note - yesterday was the last day of the sale. :) :) :)
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
All good things must come to an end.
Tomorrow we go home. Where did these 3 weeks go? I am all vacationed out and can not wait for 2 things. A warm embrace from my husband, and the cool sheets of my very own bed. This winter gal will be more than willing to trade hot and humid for the high 60's in my own home.
A little recap. We spent 2 days at Legoland - 1 enjoying the rides, and 1 at their new waterpark. Let me just say that the Legoland waterpark is wonderful. Not too big, and not too small. I was able to let the 3 older kids go and enjoy the 4 water slides geared towards "big" kids; while the little kids and I played and enjoyed the area for "little kids". And as a bonus Pippa taught herself to swim! Way to go Pip! We spent 3 days at the Disney Resort. 1 day at Disneyland with all 5 kids. 1 day at Disney's California Adventure with all 5 kids. And 1 evening/night with the 3 olders. It was nice to be able to spend sometime with them doing all the big kid things without having to worry if it would scare the littles - or if they were big enough to get on the roller coasters. My mom too the 2 older girls to the Broadway play "Mary Poppins". Ok, I went along too. It was a great adaptation of the books. Much better than the Disney movie. I took Esther up to Los Angeles to the American Girls store there. The kids spent the down, inbetween activity days in grandma's large jacuzzi. Mostly, things were very nice. There were a few times tensions ran high between my mom and I. We just do not parent the same way - and she is not used to little boys. My boys are boys. Loud, active, rough and tumble (with really big, sweet hearts). They are into guns, and explosions, digging a hole to China in the backyard, and Legos (that can get underfoot). My mom at 70 - doesn't like big loud noises, and stepping on the occasional stray Lego (who does?), or gun fights at the OK Coral. Well they are preparing to be men - to protect us womenfolk, and all of that. But that is a topic for another day. But I encourage it, embrace it - and love to watch what my little men are growing into. Of course, I have had to buy 2 suitcases to bring back all the stuff we seemed to acquire while here. Toys, books, summery - hot weather clothes that we hadn't brought enough of.
Today will be a day of laundry (who wants to take tons of dirty laundry home?), and of putting my mom's house in order from our visit. So - if I don't post before then - catch ya' on the flip side.
A little recap. We spent 2 days at Legoland - 1 enjoying the rides, and 1 at their new waterpark. Let me just say that the Legoland waterpark is wonderful. Not too big, and not too small. I was able to let the 3 older kids go and enjoy the 4 water slides geared towards "big" kids; while the little kids and I played and enjoyed the area for "little kids". And as a bonus Pippa taught herself to swim! Way to go Pip! We spent 3 days at the Disney Resort. 1 day at Disneyland with all 5 kids. 1 day at Disney's California Adventure with all 5 kids. And 1 evening/night with the 3 olders. It was nice to be able to spend sometime with them doing all the big kid things without having to worry if it would scare the littles - or if they were big enough to get on the roller coasters. My mom too the 2 older girls to the Broadway play "Mary Poppins". Ok, I went along too. It was a great adaptation of the books. Much better than the Disney movie. I took Esther up to Los Angeles to the American Girls store there. The kids spent the down, inbetween activity days in grandma's large jacuzzi. Mostly, things were very nice. There were a few times tensions ran high between my mom and I. We just do not parent the same way - and she is not used to little boys. My boys are boys. Loud, active, rough and tumble (with really big, sweet hearts). They are into guns, and explosions, digging a hole to China in the backyard, and Legos (that can get underfoot). My mom at 70 - doesn't like big loud noises, and stepping on the occasional stray Lego (who does?), or gun fights at the OK Coral. Well they are preparing to be men - to protect us womenfolk, and all of that. But that is a topic for another day. But I encourage it, embrace it - and love to watch what my little men are growing into. Of course, I have had to buy 2 suitcases to bring back all the stuff we seemed to acquire while here. Toys, books, summery - hot weather clothes that we hadn't brought enough of.
Today will be a day of laundry (who wants to take tons of dirty laundry home?), and of putting my mom's house in order from our visit. So - if I don't post before then - catch ya' on the flip side.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house we go.
Hello out there! 2 days ago I packed up the 5 kids, all the suitcases, 2 car seats, and 1 stroller and headed to Sea-Tac Airport with the goal of flying to Southern California to visit my mom for 3 weeks.
The joy began as Izzy FLIPPED OUT when I had to take his shoes off to go through security. I had to drag him through the check - kicking and screaming hysterically (him not me). He is incredibly strong and I couldn't get him back into his stroller for all of his back arching and stiffening up. In the end, I moved him out of the flow of traffic and sat their until he was all cried out. After that fiasco - we resumed out journey to the gate. Boarded the plane. The plane taxied. All was well. As soon as we lifted off the ground Izzy flipped out again - screaming for all to hear that, "I am going to fall! I am going to fall!!!!!". This was coupled with him grabbing my arm and squeezing so hard that he left fingernail marks on me. Thankfully, after about 10 minutes - he fell asleep, as slept until we started our decent. While Izzy wasn't relaxed or enjoying the flight in the least - as long as we kept the shade down on the window, he wasn't screaming. As soon as we landed Izzy was happy as a clam. The deplaning went well, as did the walk to the other gate, and boarding the 2nd plane. Of course, the 2nd flight started as the first did. However, as soon as I closed the shade on the window he calmed down. This flight was shorter - and only lasted an hour. We were barely at cruising altitude for 15 minutes or so before we were starting the descent. The Lord blessed us with coming into a gate that was close to baggage claim. I rented 2 of the luggage carrier carts and got out to the curb just in time for my mom and sister to drive up. Well - we may had to wait a few minutes, but not many.
We are enjoying our time here with my mom. It is hotter than I like, of course. I am not a hot weather gal. Sleeping isn't easy, but we are enjoying our afternoons in the large jacuzzi. The kids will be sporting some nice tans when we return to Washington. I am doing laundry today - as we are headed down to San Diego for the weekend.
The joy began as Izzy FLIPPED OUT when I had to take his shoes off to go through security. I had to drag him through the check - kicking and screaming hysterically (him not me). He is incredibly strong and I couldn't get him back into his stroller for all of his back arching and stiffening up. In the end, I moved him out of the flow of traffic and sat their until he was all cried out. After that fiasco - we resumed out journey to the gate. Boarded the plane. The plane taxied. All was well. As soon as we lifted off the ground Izzy flipped out again - screaming for all to hear that, "I am going to fall! I am going to fall!!!!!". This was coupled with him grabbing my arm and squeezing so hard that he left fingernail marks on me. Thankfully, after about 10 minutes - he fell asleep, as slept until we started our decent. While Izzy wasn't relaxed or enjoying the flight in the least - as long as we kept the shade down on the window, he wasn't screaming. As soon as we landed Izzy was happy as a clam. The deplaning went well, as did the walk to the other gate, and boarding the 2nd plane. Of course, the 2nd flight started as the first did. However, as soon as I closed the shade on the window he calmed down. This flight was shorter - and only lasted an hour. We were barely at cruising altitude for 15 minutes or so before we were starting the descent. The Lord blessed us with coming into a gate that was close to baggage claim. I rented 2 of the luggage carrier carts and got out to the curb just in time for my mom and sister to drive up. Well - we may had to wait a few minutes, but not many.
We are enjoying our time here with my mom. It is hotter than I like, of course. I am not a hot weather gal. Sleeping isn't easy, but we are enjoying our afternoons in the large jacuzzi. The kids will be sporting some nice tans when we return to Washington. I am doing laundry today - as we are headed down to San Diego for the weekend.
Friday, June 24, 2011
God even cares about the books we long to read.
I was over at a friend's house last night. She showed me a few books she was reading.
and
Being a stay at home, home schooling mom of 5 and wife...surviving on an enlistedman's pay in the US armed forces we don't have a money tree growing in the back yard. Books are pricey. I was hoping to maybe get one of these books as a birthday gift in a few months.
However, this morning I was checking my e-mail and found out that VisionForum.com was having a rather nice sale on homeschooling resources. I was able to purchase Large Family Logistics for 50% off, and Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God for 60% off. What a blessing! Thank you Lord!!!
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and
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Being a stay at home, home schooling mom of 5 and wife...surviving on an enlistedman's pay in the US armed forces we don't have a money tree growing in the back yard. Books are pricey. I was hoping to maybe get one of these books as a birthday gift in a few months.
However, this morning I was checking my e-mail and found out that VisionForum.com was having a rather nice sale on homeschooling resources. I was able to purchase Large Family Logistics for 50% off, and Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God for 60% off. What a blessing! Thank you Lord!!!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Righteous has no fellowship with the wicked.
I recently had to sever ties with 2 friends. I had really struggled with it for months before I finally ended the said friendships. I realized, that Biblically, it was wrong to bind myself with unbelievers. A blog I follow had a post just the other day about the same thing. Now, while it deals with being friends with unbelievers involved in sexual sin - the same Biblical principals apply to people living any lifestyle of perpetual sin (including the sin of unbelief). I am linking it to this post - as she has it laid out, better than I could. It is a bit of a long read - but worth it. Enjoy...
A 2nd Generation of Homeschooling: How to BIBLICALLY work with those in sexual sin...
A 2nd Generation of Homeschooling: How to BIBLICALLY work with those in sexual sin...
How to BIBLICALLY work with those in sexual sin...
Our family works with women living in sexual sin (at the abortion mills). We have hosted them in our home (and yes, ate with them), but when they choose to reject Christ and to *continue* to willfully live in sin...that's where we cannot yoke with them. That's where the *bond* MUST be broken, according to Scripture. Sound harsh? Look at the Scriptures below and see where Jesus' compassion alligns with His commands and warnings...
2 Corinthians 6:14-17 (NIV): Do not be yoked together [associate; befriend] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship (associate) can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”
Matthew 10:14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.
Acts 13:51-52 So they shook the dust from their feet in protest against them and went to Iconium. And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.
..... to shake the dust of any city of Israel from off one's clothes or feet was an emblematical action, signifying a renunciation of all further connection with them, and placing them on a level with the cities of the Heathen. (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
Ephesians 5:11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them (reprehend severely; rebuke; convict).
James 4:4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred (hostility) toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy (hostile) of God.
[Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world] How strange it is that people professing Christianity can suppose that with a worldly spirit, worldly companions, and their lives governed by worldly maxims, they can be in the favour of God, or ever get to the kingdom of heaven! When the world gets into the church, the church becomes a painted sepulcher; its spiritual vitality being extinct. (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
Regarding associations with perpetual sinners who call themselves believers....
1 Corinthians 5:9-13 "I have written you in my letter not to associate (keep company or be intimate) with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat (directly translated that we are to not eat, "not even in a continue negation"). What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. "Expel (remove) the wicked man from among you.'
It is vitally important to understand that we are not to judge those who are outside the church (non-professing Christians), but we are to remove those who practice homosexuality from our Church body (1 Corinthians 5:9-13). We cannot "police" the homosexuals (that's not our job), but we can remove them from our presence, as stated in the aforementioned verses.
Psalm 1:1 - Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
Psalm 26:4-7 I have not sat with idolatrous mortals, Nor will I go in with hypocrites. I have hated the assembly of evildoers, And will not sit with the wicked. I will wash my hands in innocence; So I will go about Your altar, O LORD, That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, And tell of all Your wondrous works.
Proverb 29:27 An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, And he who is upright in the way is an abomination to the wicked.
This is crucial........
1 Cor. 15:33 "Do not be deceived (led astray): ‘Bad company (companionship) corrupts good character (habits, customs).'"
There is no difficulty in this saying; he who frequents the company of bad or corrupt men will soon be as they are. He may be sound in the faith, and have the life and power of godliness, and at first frequent their company only for the sake of their pleasing conversation, or their literary accomplishments: and he may think his faith proof against their infidelity; but he will soon find, by means of their glozing speeches, his faith weakened; and when once he gets under the empire of doubt, unbelief will soon prevail; his bad company will corrupt his morals. (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
When comments have been said to me about how Jesus hung out with and associate with unbelievers and those in sexual sin, I urge them to look at his friendships with them. My friend had an excellent response...
2 Corinthians 6:14-17 (NIV): Do not be yoked together [associate; befriend] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship (associate) can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”
Matthew 10:14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.
Acts 13:51-52 So they shook the dust from their feet in protest against them and went to Iconium. And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.
..... to shake the dust of any city of Israel from off one's clothes or feet was an emblematical action, signifying a renunciation of all further connection with them, and placing them on a level with the cities of the Heathen. (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
Ephesians 5:11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them (reprehend severely; rebuke; convict).
James 4:4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred (hostility) toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy (hostile) of God.
[Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world] How strange it is that people professing Christianity can suppose that with a worldly spirit, worldly companions, and their lives governed by worldly maxims, they can be in the favour of God, or ever get to the kingdom of heaven! When the world gets into the church, the church becomes a painted sepulcher; its spiritual vitality being extinct. (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
Regarding associations with perpetual sinners who call themselves believers....
1 Corinthians 5:9-13 "I have written you in my letter not to associate (keep company or be intimate) with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat (directly translated that we are to not eat, "not even in a continue negation"). What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. "Expel (remove) the wicked man from among you.'
It is vitally important to understand that we are not to judge those who are outside the church (non-professing Christians), but we are to remove those who practice homosexuality from our Church body (1 Corinthians 5:9-13). We cannot "police" the homosexuals (that's not our job), but we can remove them from our presence, as stated in the aforementioned verses.
Psalm 1:1 - Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
Psalm 26:4-7 I have not sat with idolatrous mortals, Nor will I go in with hypocrites. I have hated the assembly of evildoers, And will not sit with the wicked. I will wash my hands in innocence; So I will go about Your altar, O LORD, That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, And tell of all Your wondrous works.
Proverb 29:27 An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, And he who is upright in the way is an abomination to the wicked.
This is crucial........
1 Cor. 15:33 "Do not be deceived (led astray): ‘Bad company (companionship) corrupts good character (habits, customs).'"
There is no difficulty in this saying; he who frequents the company of bad or corrupt men will soon be as they are. He may be sound in the faith, and have the life and power of godliness, and at first frequent their company only for the sake of their pleasing conversation, or their literary accomplishments: and he may think his faith proof against their infidelity; but he will soon find, by means of their glozing speeches, his faith weakened; and when once he gets under the empire of doubt, unbelief will soon prevail; his bad company will corrupt his morals. (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
When comments have been said to me about how Jesus hung out with and associate with unbelievers and those in sexual sin, I urge them to look at his friendships with them. My friend had an excellent response...
Jesus had dinner with "sinners", but they were not in His circle of "friends". There is a huge difference, IMHO. There is a distinction between interacting with homosexuals (or whichever other "sinner") and "yoking" yourself with them in a friendship that entails regular interaction. We are known by whom we associate with (sad, but true) and we are also influenced by whom we associate with. Do you want your kids hanging out with the kid who smokes and sneaks alcohol from their parents' cabinet? Or do you want your kids hanging out with the kid who - while they aren't perfect (because no one is) - does their best to make good choices? I know which one I want my kids hanging out with. I know that it has become politically correct to be "tolerant" of homosexuals (which is watering down the fact that according to the Bible, it is a sin, an abomination), and I AM "tolerant" of homosexuals (my SIL is a lesbian, and has been in a relationship with the same woman for over 10 years), but I am not going to befriend a homosexual. All of the examples (addiction to porn, lusting, having affairs) are done in secret. It isn't as though people engaging in those things show up at church with a sign around their neck saying "I'm a porn addict". Those examples are red herrings. If a man DID show up at church with a sign that said "I'm addicted to porn", I think that the article Lisa posted [HERE] would apply. But to answer your question about "how do we choose who is moral enough to keep company with", the answer is spelled out very clearly in several places in the Bible. I've already gotten long-winded, so I won't quote the scriptures or even post the references. Don't be deceived into thinking that you have to be "friends with" an immoral person in order to witness to them. You can be friendly, without being "friends". A former pastor of mine used to always say, if you're standing on a chair, it's much easier for someone to pull you off the chair, than it is for you to pull them up on it with you. - Kathy H.
Our family proclaims the truth to those we meet who are living in sexual sin. This can be done while still obeying the Scriptures. We encourage them, in love, to break free from sin (aborting their babies; continuing in sexual sin). We never know when someone will be called into eternity. There is no time to let those that we are supposed to love and care about feel comfortable in their sin. Jesus never made sinners feel comfortable to stay in their sin. He spoke the truth and yoked with those who sought forgiveness and repented from living in sin. When we meet young women at the abortion clinics, we meet their practical needs, present the Gospel, fulfill our promises to them and eventually move on if the Gospel has been rejected. We check in on them now and again and continue to minister to them. BUT...we never yoke together or befriend/hang out with, etc. Quite a difference there...
We *all* sin, but it's what we do to prevent that repetitive sin and Who we've accepted as covering for our sin that makes the difference.
We *all* sin, but it's what we do to prevent that repetitive sin and Who we've accepted as covering for our sin that makes the difference.
The Word is very clear on this. I cannot debate feelings (we all feel differently about many things...what we prefer to eat, what style home is our favorite, what clothes we prefer to wear, etc.). If you want to show me IN SCRIPTURE where it refutes the Scriptures I listed, I'd love to see it. For me...I take Scripture as it is.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Cha - cha - changes....
A month ago or so, Hubby and I decided we were no longer going to wrestle with the Lord over our family planning. It was a long time coming - and a hard thing for Hubby to let go of. Men, being the big strong providers often fear what more children will do to the economics of the household. That said, we took our hands off the childbearing issue. I freely admit that I would love another baby (or 2). Hubby, however, has said from the get go that he feels 5 is enough for us and that we are complete. Needless to say, it was a leap of faith for Hubby to let go and let God. However, I was so thrilled for Hubby when he, despite his fear, gave control back to the rightful holder, the Lord.
Fast forward to yesterday. Hubby, out of the blue asks me, "So, do you at all feel pregnant?". I was very surprised by this question. My answer was, no. And let me say, that after 5 babies - I usually know when I am pregnant, even before I test +. I raised an eyebrow at him. He continues with, "I don't feel like someone is missing from our family - but I am hoping for another". I was in shock. This is the same man, who just a month or so ago was terrified at the thought that the Lord might bless us with more children. The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways.
Fast forward to yesterday. Hubby, out of the blue asks me, "So, do you at all feel pregnant?". I was very surprised by this question. My answer was, no. And let me say, that after 5 babies - I usually know when I am pregnant, even before I test +. I raised an eyebrow at him. He continues with, "I don't feel like someone is missing from our family - but I am hoping for another". I was in shock. This is the same man, who just a month or so ago was terrified at the thought that the Lord might bless us with more children. The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
When good neighbors do odd things.
There are many things I do not fancy about living here. But I do love our neighbors! We live on a corner, so our only real neighbors are to the left of us. Lovely, God fearing couple are John and Sue (not their real names). Have a great son, we'll call him Danny - just graduating from high school. We all get along well. Their son Danny has taken on an "older brother" role with our oldest son Jack who will be 9 this August. As I was saying, we all get along well. They come over for dinner and board games at our house. We go over to theirs. We chat over fences. We pray together in tough times. Just really, great people. Of all of the times we have thought of moving to another house - it is always the neighbors, and not wanting to move from them, that was the swing vote against.
Tonight left me scratching my head a bit. Maybe it is that we live so far north that it doesn't even begin to get dark until after 9:30pm. Maybe it is that they haven't had small children for a long time. But, after chatting with John and Sue for about 20 minutes this evening, AND mentioning I had to get in and put the littles to bed because they were sooooo tired (at 7:15pm)...John starts up his lawn mower and proceeds to make all kinds of racket at 8:45pm! I don't know what possessed him to do that. I had gotten Pippa and Izzy to bed. I was in the basement doing laundry. You know. Putting wet clothes in the dryer. Starting a new load in the washer. Sorting dirty clothes into the proper hampers. Folding clean clothes. You get the idea. Jack comes down stairs and asks if the babies are in bed and sleeping because, "Mr. John is out in the yard with his lawn mower." Now way, I though. But sure enough - yes. I was a bit irritated to say the least. Especially since he was mowing his lawn until after 9:30pm. I don't want to be one of those dragon lady neighbors. But I also don't think it is ok to be mowing the lawn well after my little ones have been down for the night. I try and respect them by not doing our yard work early in the morning - and keeping the kids inside until a respectable hour in the mornings on weekends and in the summer (they are teachers and are home during the summers). At any rate - I am going to have to have a little chat, in love of course. Do you think bringing some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies will soften their hearts to my words? Or maybe oatmeal-chocolate chips. Oh I am such a wimp when it comes to any kind of confrontation. Even thought it won't really be a "confrontation". I have such a hard time with this type of thing in general....
Tonight left me scratching my head a bit. Maybe it is that we live so far north that it doesn't even begin to get dark until after 9:30pm. Maybe it is that they haven't had small children for a long time. But, after chatting with John and Sue for about 20 minutes this evening, AND mentioning I had to get in and put the littles to bed because they were sooooo tired (at 7:15pm)...John starts up his lawn mower and proceeds to make all kinds of racket at 8:45pm! I don't know what possessed him to do that. I had gotten Pippa and Izzy to bed. I was in the basement doing laundry. You know. Putting wet clothes in the dryer. Starting a new load in the washer. Sorting dirty clothes into the proper hampers. Folding clean clothes. You get the idea. Jack comes down stairs and asks if the babies are in bed and sleeping because, "Mr. John is out in the yard with his lawn mower." Now way, I though. But sure enough - yes. I was a bit irritated to say the least. Especially since he was mowing his lawn until after 9:30pm. I don't want to be one of those dragon lady neighbors. But I also don't think it is ok to be mowing the lawn well after my little ones have been down for the night. I try and respect them by not doing our yard work early in the morning - and keeping the kids inside until a respectable hour in the mornings on weekends and in the summer (they are teachers and are home during the summers). At any rate - I am going to have to have a little chat, in love of course. Do you think bringing some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies will soften their hearts to my words? Or maybe oatmeal-chocolate chips. Oh I am such a wimp when it comes to any kind of confrontation. Even thought it won't really be a "confrontation". I have such a hard time with this type of thing in general....
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A Foreshadow of Blessings Being Sewn...
Every night we have devotional time with our kids. Hubby and I take the 2 littles (Pippa -4, and Izzy - 3) upstairs. We read to them from a Bible Story Book, ask them questions about it after, pray with them, and sing them a hymn or 2 while tucking them in. After that, hubby and I come downstairs and have devotional time with the 3 olders (Liv - 16, Esther - 10, and Jack - 8). We read from the Bible, discuss it, and then have family prayer time.
Tonight Hubby has duty - so I was flying solo. I read to the littles about the Parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:16-21). After reading, we were talking about how everything we have is a gift from God, that we need to be thankful to Him for blessing us with. I asked Pippa what she wants to thank God for. Her answer? "Forgiveness". WOW. Pippa went on to say that the best thing God has given her was that Jesus paid for her sins by dying on the cross. I was utterly speechless. I was expecting to hear that she is thankful for her family, or her favorite lovey - "bunny", that she just can not sleep without.
Tonight I am thankful that the Holy Spirit is touching and filling the heart of my blessings, my children. It is moments like these - that I feel the Lord whispering, "keep going, keep going...this is a taste of the harvest that you are planting". What a great encouragement to my soul. Sometimes, as a mom - I get a bit discouraged. I feel like all I ever do is discipline some times. Time outs. Swats when they are overtly defiant (which is really only the littles now). Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all that taking care of 5 children entails, keeping the house, cooking, homeschooling. Sometimes I wonder if I am reaching them...really connecting; conveying to them the serious stuff about life. You know? Sure they love me. Sit in my lap. Snuggle in bed with me in the mornings before everyone is up. And of course, I love them intensely. I'd die for them. But still, sometimes I fret over what may become of them in another 5 or 10 years. But then the Lord will allow me to see how he is molding and shaping them, like a master potter. I will get a little glimpse of what He is making them into. And all the worry vanishes. How can I worry when the God who created the heavens and the earth is holding them in His hands. They are His, for He truly does have the whole world in His hands.
Tonight Hubby has duty - so I was flying solo. I read to the littles about the Parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:16-21). After reading, we were talking about how everything we have is a gift from God, that we need to be thankful to Him for blessing us with. I asked Pippa what she wants to thank God for. Her answer? "Forgiveness". WOW. Pippa went on to say that the best thing God has given her was that Jesus paid for her sins by dying on the cross. I was utterly speechless. I was expecting to hear that she is thankful for her family, or her favorite lovey - "bunny", that she just can not sleep without.
Tonight I am thankful that the Holy Spirit is touching and filling the heart of my blessings, my children. It is moments like these - that I feel the Lord whispering, "keep going, keep going...this is a taste of the harvest that you are planting". What a great encouragement to my soul. Sometimes, as a mom - I get a bit discouraged. I feel like all I ever do is discipline some times. Time outs. Swats when they are overtly defiant (which is really only the littles now). Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all that taking care of 5 children entails, keeping the house, cooking, homeschooling. Sometimes I wonder if I am reaching them...really connecting; conveying to them the serious stuff about life. You know? Sure they love me. Sit in my lap. Snuggle in bed with me in the mornings before everyone is up. And of course, I love them intensely. I'd die for them. But still, sometimes I fret over what may become of them in another 5 or 10 years. But then the Lord will allow me to see how he is molding and shaping them, like a master potter. I will get a little glimpse of what He is making them into. And all the worry vanishes. How can I worry when the God who created the heavens and the earth is holding them in His hands. They are His, for He truly does have the whole world in His hands.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
I'm baa-aack.
I am back from my visit to my mom's. It was a very nice time, but I missed my children soooo very much! I missed hubby too, but it just isn't the same - rip your heart out of your chest feeling as being separated from your little ones. Everyone survived a week of daddy being in charge. Personally - I think it is good for everyone to have some dad time. Because I homeschool, and hubby is gone with the military a good amount of time...sometimes when hubby is home, the children don't go to him as an authority in the home. Example: if hubby is home and in the living room, but I am in the bathroom - the children will come and knock on the bathroom door and ask for help. They forget or discount that daddy is in the living room and able to help. When I am gone for a week - it really helps strengthened the bonds between hubby and the kids. Helps the kids realize that though daddy does things "differently", it is just "different" and not "wrong". And you know what? Sometimes I need to be reminded of that too. ;)
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